Ollie Mollie the boy who works too hard

Ollie Mollie was a young boy who always did the write thing

Ollie wanted to go out and play

but Ollie had work to do

he helped his mummy clean the pots 

he helped his daddy change the oil in his car

he helped his granny to make a soup

he helped his granddad to weed the garden

and this made him happy

Ollie Mollie grew up and went to school

Ollie Mollie wanted to go out to play with his friends

but Ollie had work to do

he toiled to learn how to do algebra

he studied the work of Shakespeare

he wrote his essay

he worked and worked and worked until all the work was done

when he had finished he went outside to play but all his friends had gone to bed

on friendship

            Friendship is a word we use a lot in the modern world. On Facebook I have friends that are only vaguely connected to me a friend of an acquaintance or someone I went to school with 5 years ago and haven't talked to since. I think we can all agree that the Facebook definition of friend isn't what a friend is.  Which makes me think what is the definition of a friend?  The dictionary defines it thusly 

–noun

1.

A person attached to another by feelings of affection orpersonal regard.

2.

A person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends ofthe Boston Symphony.

3.

A person who is on good terms with another; a person who isnot hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?

4.

A member of the same nation, party, etc.

5.

(Initial capital letter) a member of the Religious Society of Friends; a Quaker.

           What we see here is that the word friend covers a large variety of things, leaving the Quakers apart, from not being openly hostile, surely a prerequisite for any type of relationship, or being attached by bonds of love and respect.  These are clearly very different ideas as are the other definitions of a patron or a member of an in group. 

           Are these definitions of the same thing but in varying gradations?  I think not. Someone could be a patron of the art but hate the artist.  A person could be on civil terms and not an enemy but could certainly be considered boring or vapid meaning that they are not attached by affection and personal regard.  And we can hold great affection for one not of the same class, nation or party as ourselves.  So I think we can show that these are separate, if not mutually exclusive.

            I think many writers would then conclude that friend means many things I say no to that.  The meat and potatoes of today’s blog are new words that could be used for certain types of relationship. Perhaps during this we may learn something about the nature of friendship or maybe I’ll just whiter on and on unnecessarily feel free to comment on which it was

            Firstly we need a word for that sort of people you feel compelled to nod at as you walk past them in the street. You sometimes know their name sometimes not; you met them in a bar at, the theatre, at a mutual friend’s party: You may or may not have had a conversation with them but no more than two.  These are people we recognise and probably can count on not to be an enemy. I propose we call these people recogmates.

The second group is the worst to bump into whilst out people in your social network that you don’t really have much to do with but you are both compelled by the ties that bind both of you to other people to stop for a chat.  The problem is that neither of you have anything to say you know each other too well for ‘getting to know you chatter’ it’s neither the time nor place for that but it would be better than what inevitably occurs.  The conversation goes like this

‘Hey not talked to you for ages’

‘No we haven’t how are you’

‘OK you’

‘I'm OK’

If it was just this it would be fine but this isn't enough for social convention perish the thought you have to stand, in the cold, in dreadful silence until one of you mentions the weather. Then another silence until the football is mentioned, my least favourite bit, then the blessed lie comes. 

'Oh I have to go I've not got much time I've got to catch a bus'  

Or meet someone or catch a plane or anything to end the awkwardness. These people are people you sort of know, and perhaps feel you should know them better but your connection is through other people so maybe call them Familiary you are familiar with them but don't know them much better than your third cousin twice removed on your mother’s side.  

Next people who assist you in some way who you have a sort of selfish regard for you may or may not be genuinely fond of them but hey assist you in your endeavours.  These people already have a word and that's ally or if the assistance is monetary patron. These people do not have the same sort of emotional connection that the other people I'm talking about but they could have so I think I have to say this term would be proper to use as well as another term he is my Familary and my patron. 

Another set is the people who you know well and are quite fond of always more charming than tiresome. These I think are what he majority of people think of when they say friends. These are the people whose parties you go to who you tell your troubles to who you lunch with.  These are the people you choose to spend time with.

Then there are those people who are the most important to you. These are some of the most important relationships we have those who are as important to you as most of your close family. Who you don’t have to shield yourself around, unless you want to. People who have already accepted and been accepted people who help define you and who if your honest with yourself you love. Now love is another word that has slippery meaning, English isn’t good at these relationship distinctions, but the love I mean is like the love you have for a sibling nothing less or more than unconditional love.